A funny thing happened on the way to jumping to conclusions

My office has been having issues with e-mail this week. Generally, I don’t pay much attention to these things, until it effects me. In this case, nothing was hampering my ability to do my job.

But to live my life, now that’s a funny story.

DD and I communicate almost solely through electronic means between our time together. E-mail and texts are our preferred ways to whisper sweet nothings into one another’s ears. Well, for me to whisper sweet nothings and for him to be the typical guy and respond to everything in the communique except the sweet nothings. But, I digress.

Since we see each other only once or twice a week, that e-communication is quite critical to the success of our relationship. So, Tuesday we were having our usual daily e-mail convo, discussing our upcoming vacay. Tuesday night, I was up late and checking my e-mail and noticed he had sent me something at 6 p.m., to which I responded back. After that, I proceeded to sit in electronic silence for three days.

I didn’t receive a response Wednesday. That afternoon, feeling slightly odd that nothing had come, I sent him a brief e-mail. The e-silence continued. Now, I know him, and when he gets busy at work, he gets rather tunnel-visioned. He forgets everything around him. But he’s never been known to not respond. Plus, we had tentative plans to get together Wednesday or Thursday, so I was expecting something. Needless to say, it was weird. But, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and didn’t bother him. Didn’t call, didn’t text, gave him his space, and figured I’d hear from him Thursday and we’d get together that night.

But I didn’t hear anything on Thursday either. By that evening, I was getting a little perturbed. Oh, OK, I’ll be honest…I was jumping to conclusions. My last e-mail to him had mentioned that I’d started a blog, which he’s not a fan of — at least the part where I write about him.) What if he was upset about that?! What if he was unhappy with me? What if he was going to dump my ass the next time I saw him?

I’m really good at jumping to conclusions.

To try to stem my fears, I called him Thursday. Got voice mail. Left a slightly passive-aggressive message that went something like “Hey, it’s me. Just wondering what you’ve been up to the past couple days. Call me.”

Usually when he’s non-responsive and receives a passive-aggressive communication from me, he immediately gets on the horn the next day and apologizes with a morning e-mail. But today, I got nada. So, as you can imagine, my gentle pondering was now full-on conclusion-jumping and general frustration and annoyance. After all, I hadn’t gotten to see him this week as planned, and now I had no idea if we were even hanging out tonight.

I had all sorts of snide comments lined up for when he finally did call. You know, to really rub it in that he was being an unresponsive boyfriend. That it was time to get off his duff and remember there’s other people in the world besides himself and that after 9 months of dating, he should be at that point.

Thank God I didn’t lead with that when he finally did call at 4:30 today. I calmly answered the phone and the first thing out of his mouth was “Didn’t you get my e-mails the past couple days?”

Damn those e-mail problems.

The next 20 minutes were spent explaining all the e-mails he had in fact sent me over the past 72 hours and that oh by the way he had stayed home from work yesterday with the stomach flu.

Wups. Obviously my well-prepared “How to be a good boyfriend” lecture didn’t happen. And in the midst of it all, he was sick and I wasn’t there to take care of him. (Then again, I wouldn’t have volunteered to be there, so it’s probably best I didn’t know about it.)

You’d think at some point I’d get over this whole jumping to conclusions thing. At least I’m beginning to improve. As I was beginning to dream up bad reasons for him not responding, I was immediately talking myself off the ledge with legitimate reasons that weren’t bad at all.

I guess it’s a process. When you’ve been hurt in relationships before, it’s natural to be rather gun shy. But as the cliche goes, time heals all wounds, and I see time working its magic with me. Someday, hopefully I’ll be cured for good. 

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Filed under crazy crazy, DD (aka My Man), Excuse me while I trip on myself, relationships

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