On bonding

I’m ridiculously exhausted, but my biggest fear is that I won’t be able to sleep tonight, thanks to my cold and the fact that I find it near impossible to sleep through the night when alone in my apartment. Just another peril of living alone I guess; I just toss and turn and wake up to almost every sound. I’ve gotten used to it, but this cold makes it a bit more unbearable.

Exhaustion aside, it was still a decent weekend in Milwaukee. I was definitely ridiculously sick, and it crossed my mind on more than one occasion that I shouldn’t have gone. Luckily the one time that the thought really creeped in (when DD’s friends wanted to go out after dinner on Friday night when it was already midnight) I asked him to drop me back by the place we were staying and he did — and stayed with me instead of going back out to booze it up with his friends. I felt bad I was impeding on his weekend, but I expressed that to him and he said it was fine, so I got over it and that was that.

Luckily on Saturday, I felt better and was able to enjoy the wedding we went to even though my voice was gone and a nasty cough was setting in. But the wedding was awesome. I don’t even know the couple and I still thought the ceremony was beautiful and the reception amazing. The party was at a brewery and it was definitely the coolest venue I’ve seen. The colors were black and white with green accents, and I loved the linens and flowers and everything the couple chose. They had a Riverdance-type trio for the cocktail hour and beginning of dinner and I loved it. I’m normally not a big band person at weddings — my old age shows because I think it’s just too damn loud — but I like the combo of a band and then the DJ so we could all put our dancing shoes on. They even had a photobooth to go in and shoot pictures of yourself. Then the booth gave you two copies, one to keep and one to paste into a memory book along with a little note to the bride and groom. So cute, and I’m a big fan of the keepsake currently hanging on my fridge.

So it’s obvious I loved the wedding, just wish I could have been totally healthy so I could’ve enjoyed some of the booze. My only complaint for the whole night (aside from my very sexy, but very tight dress that got rather uncomfortable after a large dose of wedding food) was the lack of slow songs. I’m a mushy girl and I love having the opportunity to actually slow dance with my man at weddings. After all, it’s pretty much the only time you get to do that! This wedding literally had 2 slow songs the whole night and I was quite disappointed. Ah well.

On the 6 hour ride home, DD and I had good talks of the relationship-variety, so while I joked before the trip that it would be good bonding time for us, it really turned out to be that way I think. Remember last week how I was complaining about his lack of communication? Well, he totally gets my complaint, but the thing is, that’s just who. he. is. And he recognizes I don’t like it (which is better than him not getting it at all), but made it very clear this isn’t about me, it’s him. If he was dating anyone else, he’d be talking to them and seeing them just as much. It’s just how he is, whether it’s his family or his friends or his significant other. And then he made a comment that really hit home. He said that several months ago I told him that he had to like me for who I am, even if it’s not who he is – and that the same rule should apply to him. In that case, it was about my non-bar star ways compared to his. In this case, it’s about phone communication. And he has a point. He has definitely made some compromises and gained a better understanding and acceptance of my hatred of bar nights, so I have to decide if I can handle this thing about him that sometimes frustrates me. When I take into account all the things about him I do like — his goofiness, his kindness, his generosity, his patience — I find so many more important things about him I do like. So I guess maybe I’m going to have to adjust my communication needs, because in the grand scheme of the world, those other things are more important and more difficult to find all rolled into one person. 

All in all, a very good talk, encompassing other things I won’t get into here because they’re all a bunch of half-baked conversations that we continue to have and arrive at no conclusion, just more questions and a slightly better understanding, if that’s possible. But sickness and all, I’m very happy I went. Just wish the cold would subside!

And now, off to attempt that thing called sleep.

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Filed under DD (aka My Man), perils, relationships, travel

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