My phone ghost

I just had the oddest phone conversation with my mother.

Mom: Did your phone just dial me by accident?
Me: Not that I know of. Why?
Mom: Well, I had a voice mail from you and when I checked it, I just heard some background noise and you saying ‘ass’ and then ‘groin’.
[Awkward pause.]
Mom: What were you doing? [Said with a mix of fear/judgement that I may have been having sex (gasp!) at the time as well as concern for my well-being]
Me: [Also thinking of all the inappropriate situations I could be in where those words might be uttered.] Hmm…. OH, well now that you mention it, I did make those two comments when I was leaving work today because both my ass and groin hurt from yoga.
Mom: Oh, good. I wasn’t sure what you were doing or if you were being kidnapped or something.
Me: Well, if I was being kidnapped, why would I say those words?
Mom: I don’t know? Maybe you were being grabbed in those spots on your body.

It’s clear I need a new phone. I’ve known for awhile that it likes to dial people randomly and without provocation because it sucks. But I’ve been holding out for my contract to expire in a few months so I get a (sorta) free phone. Clearly, it’s ornery-ness has reached new heights. This time it actually dialed itself from inside my purse, with the keypad allegedly locked. Obviously that lock function is just a veil of security — and one I won’t fall for anymore. This time was an innocent situation, but God forbid it happens again when I’m in the middle of a not-so-innocent situation.



Filed under family values

5 responses to “My phone ghost

  1. Oh my God, that used to happen to me all the time–the horrors! And for some reason it always called my dad. Let me tell you, life was a lot less fun when there was a constant fear that my parents were monitoring me through voicemails!

  2. trendycamper

    That’s hilarious. It’s never happened to me, but I can imagine what it would be like: My mom wouldn’t say anything to me directly… she’d awkwardly and furtively question around the issue until I break down and ask what the heck she’s talking about.

    You might want to consider declaring “I’m not being kidnapped!” every few hours, just in case it happens again.

  3. hahahaha ghost dialing!

  4. Pingback: I’m thinking about… « Supergirl

  5. Andrea

    This sort of thing happened to me with my old ghetto phone. It used to text this one number randomly without me telling it to. There wouldn’t be anything in the text, but just because it was sent I was charged for it. One time it texted the number I don’t even know how many times consecutively (a large number). I even turned my phone off to get it to stop but when I turned it on again, it kept right on texting! Which turned up as a $19 charge on my next bill! That was when I got my new phone…

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