Trying to get ahead

One of things I have refrained from talking about here is my job. Mainly because there hasn’t been any drama of note, but also because it’s not necessarily a blogger best practice to rant on and on about how much I hate my job. Well that all ends today.

Actually, this isn’t going to be a post about how I hate my job. Because I don’t. I’m just kind of bored with it. I’m ready for a change. A new challenge. And last, but certainly not least, I’m ready to move out of entry-level hell and make some more cash.

I’ve been stuck in entry-level hell for nearly 4 years. And truth be told, I don’t understand why I’m still in it. I’m a competant employee who has always accomplished her goals and gone the extra mile to keep things going. I’ve watched my peers with the same amount of experience and drive get promoted above me and I won’t lie, it’s really disconcerting for my competitive nature. What’s wrong with me that I can’t do the same thing? Why are they better than me?

I know realistically they aren’t better than me. They work for other supervisors who have different standards. They didn’t have to endure a messy department shake-up that left me with a completely new job, forcing me to basically start over on the ladder of experience when I very well could have been promoted in my old job.

Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t just asked for promotions that don’t exist. At one point I formally applied for a newly available position that was at a higher pay grade. I didn’t get it, that supervisor left and was replaced by my current one, who then gave me that same job I applied for and didn’t get…but at my current pay scale. Granted, she could have laid me off with everyone else, so I’m happy with what I got.

But even though I try to look at the bright side, after almost four years of things like this, it’s still frustrating.

So I’ve been casually looking. Had some interviews for so-so jobs — you know, the kind that aren’t exactly what you want to do, but close enough and worth the switch for the bump in income. And then I had the dream job come knocking. A position came available at a place I interviewed at (and was rejected) before taking my current job. This new position was exactly the second chance with them I’d been hoping for. I thought, FINALLY! I can see those visions of the satisfaction that comes with putting in my two weeks come to fruition! But after weeks of waiting, I found out today it wasn’t meant to be. Someone with more than twice the experience I have got the gig. Understandable enough not to totally bruise my self-esteem, but to bum me out a little.

With that discovery, I’m back at square one. Not sure what to do next and no real options presenting themselves. There’s a glimmer of hope for some growth at my job, but I’ve thought that before. 

Through this whole process, the biggest realization has come with learning how little I make and the potential for what I could be making somewhere else. Which serves to just frustrate me more because it forced me to realize I’m just really sick of being poor.

Then again, I am beginning to wonder if I will always feel poor, regardless of the amount of money I make. It’s the plight of being a cheapskate. I don’t spend money frivolously, so it’s ingrained in my head to not spend money, no matter how much I have. To take the cheap option. To not splurge. I have a feeling that even if my salary was $100K, I still wouldn’t be buying those fabulous suits I covet everytime I walk into The Limited or whisking myself away on luxury vacations. And when I think about it, I am grateful that I at least have all I need, and have the ability to splurge on travel and other special items occasionally thanks to a long but profitable 2 years of living at home to boost my savings.

So I guess I’m saying all of this to say that I need to just get over it. Deal. Realize I’ve got a job and that’s more than lots of people in Detroit these days. Keep my eyes open where I’m at and where I could be going. For the most part, I’m in an optimistic mood these days.

Still, I just wish something would break loose.

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6 Comments

Filed under career, glass half full

6 responses to “Trying to get ahead

  1. I can’t even begin to think about the job as it relates to titles and promotions without getting a lump in my throat. Try having 10+ years experience, winning national awards for your work, being invited to speak repeatedly at national conferences, being told that you are one of three in a short list of employees that the senior team wants to lift up as an example to model core values after, being tasked to be on nearly every freakin’ cross-functional team in the organization (and leading three)… and not getting a promotion or title change in nearly SIX years. In fact, I started out as a manager and was “demoted” in title when we restructured.

    I’ve been turned down for so many promotions and job changes at theYouDubya that I’ve plain given up. In fact, he of the bad poetry promised me a Director’s position before he was tossed for writing unsolicited love letters to young girls. And we see how far that went when the new bosslady came on board… PP thought I was ready to lead a staff, Jedi thinks I’m “green” like my 20-something counterparts.

    I repeatedly see people that are my junior by 10 – 15 years rising to the top (some fairly so, others questionable) and it frustrates the hell out of me. It’s not as if my work isn’t good enough – I know it is…

    Crap, I have to stop writing about this. I seriously get tears in my eyes when I think about the unfairness of all. I should just be happy that I have a job, that I like my job and that I am not at all unhappy with my pay.

    But what I wouldn’t give for a bump in title…

  2. Supergirl

    Sing it! But yes, you’re right, must be glass half-full and all…

    Crap. 😉

  3. Ugh I know how you feel. The last job I had was a deadend one and I had to get out. I took my current job because it had good benefits and the salary was fair. Something will work out for you, you just have to be patient. When I thought I’d outgrow the job I have now, my boss saw all the extra work I was doing and pushed for a reclass. I’m still waiting for the paperwork to go through.

    Be patient, something will come up and I will think good thoughts for you in the meantime 🙂

  4. I’ve had the best luck with promotions and bosses and such, but right now it’s just plain boring and unstimulating at work. I just have no heart for it. And I’m sick of this city.

    So I’m job-hunting too… in Houston. I have a friend there. Wanna come with?

  5. You know, a friend of mine and I have this conversation quite frequently–will you ever be happy in your job? Honestly. I know that there are the things I do to pay the bills (and every once in awhile it’s rewarding), and then there are the things I do that I wish I could make a living off of that would give me a complete sense of fulfillment…at least I think so. The story changes as soon as someone else’s money is involved. Then I thought, “Maybe I’d like to be in business for myself?” Then I remembered what a low success rate new businesses have and how stressful that would be…

    Honestly, I’m content enough in my job right now. But prior to this, I was working in a place called Hell for decent pay but an ungodly amount of internal drama that went all the way to the top. At this place it truly was a matter of whose ass you were kissing and whether or not you were doing it right. It was a nightmare, and getting laid off was probably the best thing that ever happened to me.

    Not that I wish that on you, that was just my experience in a similar situation.

    However, I was in your boat when I got the boot–Lib Arts degree; years of professional working experience, all entry-level; lack of experience in an economy full of older, more educated, more experienced people desperate for work, and so on.

    I’m getting a little rambly, so I’ll just say: ask yourself if your current situation is really THAT bad (if your boss is decent and your coworkers are pleasant enough, I’d say that’s a win), if your current pay rate is really THAT bad (if you’re north of $30K you’re doing pretty well), and if you really think anywhere else is really going to be THAT much better (every place has its problems).

    Short of becoming a recluse shut-in in the forests of North Dakota (but believe me I’ve considered it), this is just what you have to deal with. It sucks. Bad. But it sucks everywhere. Especially in this economy.

    So hang on to that low-paying understimulating job for all it’s worth and try to keep a good attitude so as to keep said job!

  6. Pingback: Cranky « Supergirl

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