I’m awful at secrets

So among the other usual 4th of July fare — bbqing, laying in the sun, sleeping in, and just general lazy holiday happenings — a rather unusual thing occurred. DD discovered my super-secret-blogger-identity.

He was my main reason for being anonymous. I’d been thinking of starting a blog for a while, but knew he wouldn’t be a fan of me airing our business to strangers. Anonymity seemed like the answer.

Except that I’m really bad at keeping secrets.

Don’t get me wrong…I tried. One time, when I wrote a blog on his computer, I deleted the day’s history so he wouldn’t see the WordPress Web site with my username.

What I didn’t count on was that one lazy holiday, he’d be on my computer, looking something up, and happen upon a web site that allowed comments, one that I’d never even been too, but one that had that pesky auto fill-in that I usually love. Until it reveals my super-secret blogger identity, blog web site, and real life e-mail just to prove that I am, in fact, Supergirl.

Stupid, stupid Supergirl.

I wasn’t paying any attention to what he was doing when he said “Awww, are you Supergirl?” Like it was something cute, funny even, that I would pick a superhero as a super-secret blogger identity. Immediately my body shot up, I looked at the screen, and tried in vain to lie my way through it.

“I have no idea who that is.” Oh, but wait Supergirl, your real e-mail address that he knows is on there. No lying will you get you out of this one.

“Well, uh, it’s not me, uh, I don’t know who, but ah…HEY, just close that damn web site down, you’re not supposed to know about that!!!!!”

Once I came clean, I immediately freaked out, telling him he couldn’t look at it, that it was a secret, and on and on and on.

He replied that he hadn’t even seen the whole web site address, but that he was going to go home and search it, just to mess with me. I pleaded with him not to, and after much anguish (on my part, more like gentle goading on his part), I think we came to some sort of agreement. It’s my thing, he’ll let me have it.

In fact, he doesn’t really care. I promised him I hadn’t written anything awful about him. That I don’t even use his real name. In fact, he probably could read it, but there are some things I say on here that I just haven’t told him in person yet. Like that little 4-letter-word we both avoid. (More on that later…)

So, the whole thing ended without a fight. But, now I wonder. Will he ever really go and try to find it? He says no, but how do I know for sure? So far, I haven’t written anything horrible. But someday, who knows? He’s the biggest part of my life, and if I’m writing a blog about my life, he will inevitably be a major part of it, whether the subject matter is good or bad. Lately, I’ve been reading a lot of blogs about the whole boundary and privacy thing. Until now, I felt like I was setting pretty good boundaries. Now, my boundaries will have to get even stricter. And I’m not a fan of that.

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3 Comments

Filed under DD (aka My Man), Hmm, relationships

3 responses to “I’m awful at secrets

  1. When I first started my blog, I gave my boyfriend the address. I don’t write too much about him because I know he reads it. Sometimes I wish he didn’t read it because I’d feel a little less censored but then again I don’t really have anything to complain or bad to write about. He’s very supportive though and is awesome about the blog though which is awesome.

    It’s hard coming up with boundaries or well sticking to them.

  2. I never, ever let a boyfriend near the blog. Can’t even imagine what E would have thought of it… yeeks. A lot of people know I have one, but I’m sneaky.

  3. Oh man, I’m sorry you got busted!! I hope you’re able to find a happy medium with your boundaries and I’m glad that he seemed to be okay with the whole situation. I’ve never worried about Colby reading the blog, but there certainly have been other people that have discovered it with less than stellar results, so I know what you’re going through right now.

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