If I’m ever single again, I have devised a new way to meet a man — the grocery store. Better than match.com or eharmony, this unassuming locale is really a hotbed of hook-ups.
If you’re looking for a creepy middle-aged dude, that is.
In the past few months I’ve been hit on twice at the grocery store. That’s two more times than it’s happened in the past 27 years.
The first time, I was waiting at the deli counter, when a 30 something man walked up and asked me where the shallots were. I, too, was in need of shallots and hadn’t been able to find them and I told him so. I was friendly, but by no means flirting. He asked the deli clerk who directed him back to produce.
A few minutes later, he returned with his shallots — and brought me a few as well. I laughed (still not meaning to flirt, but what can I say, my laugh brings ’em in), and thanked him. We continued on our separate ways. After I’d finished my shopping, I was loading my bags in the trunk and he drove up to my car and asked for my number. He seemed gentlemanly enough, telling me he normally doesn’t do this (yeah, right) but that I was just so beautiful, he couldn’t help but talk to me. I politely told him I was seeing someone and skirted away from the nice by not my type potential suitor.
It still put a smile on my face. Who doesn’t like to be flattered?
Fast forward to today. I got up to head to the store and felt that since it was a Saturday afternoon, there was no reason I had to take a shower. Or get out of my pj’s really. I pulled on a pair of sweats, put a coat on over my t-shirt so no one would notice I wasn’t wearing a bra, and brushed my teeth. My hair was sticking up all over the place, but I didn’t care. It’s just Kroger after all.
In the produce aisle, I was methodically checking stuff off and trying to find the Arugula when I noticed a guy looking my way. Similar to my last suitor, this guy was also in his 30s or 40s. I didn’t think much of his glances, and kept moving through the deli aisle and into the dairy aisle. As I was picking out my heavy cream, he stopped in front of my cart and blurted out: I just have to tell you that you’re really cute.
That’s it. It was rather creepy and I was a bit taken aback. I told him thank you and made a beeline for a different aisle.
Seriously, since when do people just walk up and randomly tell someone they’re cute? In the grocery store of all places! Since when is the grocery store the new singles night?