A weekend of conversation

This weekend was full of conversation. Some deep, some not so deep, but all worthwhile. Kind of rare when that happens, so it’s definitely worth noting.

First up was Friday night. DD and I met up after work and relaxed a bit before heading out for dinner at Small Plates, my favorite place for good conversation mixed with good food presented at an enjoyable and relaxing pace.

I hadn’t anticipated using this relaxing meal for any meaningful conversation, but it came naturally. It took almost the entire dinner (and the past 6 months) for it to happen, but it finally did. We began talking about marriage in very general terms, and it quickly became focused on our relationship. DD expressed his hesitation and unreadiness to be at that point, and I jumped on the opportunity to (finally) express all the thoughts running through my head.

It felt good to be able to express some of my own hesitations…until his phone interrupted us. His friend, who was flying in that night, calling with a bit of a snag resulted in our conversation being derailed for the moment.

Throughout the rest of the weekend we were able to keep coming back to the convo, and I was eventually able to tell him what has really been weighing on my mind — that I’m just not sure if he’s the one. That the thought of ending it doesn’t sound good either, but that I’m just not sure.

And the thing is? Neither is he. And that’s OK. We’re both in the same place, just moving through the relationship, trying to figure out what it is. We’re just putting pressure on ourselves that we’ve been dating a certain amount of time and feel like we have to make up our minds, when in reality, we don’t.

At one point, I even said a lot of my confusion has developed as our relationship has changed and, dare I say it, become boring at times. It’s not the infatuation-fest it once was. Instead, we’re in this very unfamiliar place where we don’t always HAVE to see each other, where we’re choosing to sleep together instead of sleep together, and things are just kind of everyday. He agreed and completely understood where I was coming from.

Don’t get me wrong, he still pissed me off here and there this weekend. A misunderstanding led to me being stranded at his place on Saturday night — alone — while he went out with friends. I can’t really blame him though as my other commitments that day threw off the timing for me to be out with his friends. That, and I HATE going to the bar. Not just dislike it a little, I just really, REALLY hate it. I have absolutely no interest in sitting around slowly dying of second-hand smoke while getting wasted.

I know, I know, I’m an 80 year old trapped in a 27 year old body, but seriously. What’s the point? So I suppose if DD is going to go to the bar (one of his loves) and I’m going to date him, then I better get used to staying home alone once in awhile.

On the other hand, I’m a big fan of drinking at home, and we were able to do some of that with his friends on Friday night after our dinner date. I had a great conversation with some of his female friends, and it felt nice to feel like I was finally part of the group after a year and a half.

Overall, a good weekend full of good conversation. Without even realizing it, it really was just what I needed.



Filed under crazy crazy, DD (aka My Man), glass half full, rambling nature, relationships

3 responses to “A weekend of conversation

  1. I’d like to think that there’s a weight off both your shoulders by having this stuff out on the table. No need to constantly dwell on it, but at least it’s out there as you figure out how to move forward (either alone or together).

  2. Even if you don’t necessarily know what direction you want to take, it’s nice to feel that progress is being made. I totally hear you on this.

  3. even if you don’t know the “answer,” im sure it’s a good feeling to get all of this out there. that takes a lot of pressure off- both of you.

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