Monthly Archives: April 2009

Out of sync

I feel a bit like I’ve checked out of life lately. That I’m on auto pilot just trying to make it through the day. 

I’m incredibly driven by routine. Mondays I go to the gym. Back in the day (like a month ago), Mondays also meant blogging for the week. Then on Tuesdays I had yoga. And not just any yoga class I could get to that day, but a specific class at a specific time. Then I come home and make a good dinner. The routine goes on and on. For me, routine is critical. When I lose my routine for even a day it screws me up for days, even weeks.

I think that’s what’s happening here. I’m not sure how the routine got off-kilter. It could be the increased presence of DD, which I mentioned in my blog swap post. Obviously having someone else around throws my personal routine off. Work hasn’t helped. The past week or so have been busy as things get added to the to-do list quicker than they get crossed off. I’ve sacrificed gym and yoga time to stay at work a bit later, but that just makes it harder for me to get back into the groove, which then makes me cranky. I’m not working out, I’m not eating right (or eating at all really), and I’m generally lethargic. It’s a vicious circle. To fix one, I need to fix them all, and to fix them all, I need my routine back.

My goal this week was to check back into life and try to shed the lethargy. But I feel like I’ve just perpetuated the fog I’ve been in. I haven’t had energy to pack my lunch (which is usually a near daily habit). I’ve tried to get to yoga twice this week and been thwarted both times. I’ve wanted to get back to the blog, and have had lots of half-formed thoughts to get me started, but not enough energy to flesh them out.  

I know I’ll snap out of it. I just need a fresh week to reacclimate to my routine. I thought this week would be it, but I was wrong. Maybe next?

To be fair, it hasn’t been all Debbie Downer up in here. In an effort to end this on a high note (and also because I don’t know how else to end it, this really started as one of those half-formed thoughts), here are a few things that have gone right despite the lack of routine in my world.

  • A trip to David’s Bridal in search of a last minute bridesmaid dress to replace one I’d planned to wear came to a successful end. A clearance dress off the rack fit me like a glove.
  • Upcoming Tigers games. DD and I got a partial season package that will start up here in a week or so. I’ll gladly work my routine around hot dogs and warm evenings in the ball park!
  • A road trip to the wedding referenced above. I’d been dreading it a bit — the 8 hours in the car, NOT the wedding itself — but now that all the plans are made, I can finally look forward to the journey.

Actually, May brings lots of fun events and before I know it, it will be June, which promises to be equally jam-packed.

Which is good. As long as I can get in a yoga class or two and get back to some sort of meaningful eating habits. Otherwise, it’s clear I may spontaneously combust.

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Filed under Uncategorized

Only a month late

Well, this takes procrastinating to a new level.

Here I’ve been, complaining (mostly) to myself about not having any blog material, when there were questions waiting to be answered! You see, in honor of my anniversary, I appealed for questions from you.

A couple of you sent some my way, so here I am, a month later, providing the answers. I know, you probably don’t even remember what you asked. That’s what archives are for!

Ria asked: If you got laid off would you consider leaving Michigan? If so, where would you want to go and if not, why?
When I was spending the first three months of 2009 fretting about my job, this thought constantly went through my mind. It’s no secret that I’m in love with Washington D.C. Except, I lived there for a few months in college and felt so homesick that I’m afraid to move back for fear of the same fate. Also, I know how difficult it is for me to put myself out there and meet new people, so it’s probably best I stick close to home where I have connections already.

But now that I’m dating DD, I’ve gotten him on the D.C. bandwagon. I took him there last year for the first time, and he too fell in love. Every once in awhile, we throw out the crazy idea of moving there one day. It seems so many bloggers I read live in the D.C. area which makes me hopeful that I’d have a somewhat easier time forming friendships. After all, Internet friendships still count! And having DD there would of course be a homesickness deterrent.

Knowing all of this while going through layoffs this year, I made it clear to family and friends that if I lost my job, I would actively look outside of Michigan. After all, jobs are drying up ’round these parts. But, if it had come to fruition, I don’t know if I would have done it. I’ve got family here, roots here, and though DD and I have talked about it, it would have been difficult to move seamlessly.

So, who knows? I love all that Detroit and Michigan have to offer, but God do I love D.C., too.

Nilsa asked: Let’s say one day you achieve internet stardom. What would you do with yourself – leave the blog as is? Take it in a new direction? Pay for a new layout? Do tell!
In my bloggy bday post I mentioned that I had high hopes of becoming Internet famous when I started this blog. Didn’t so much work out that way.

If I did become famous? I think I’d leave the blog the way it is. Maybe pay for a new layout or self-host, but honestly? I’d have to become Dooce famous to do that because I don’t have those skillz nor do I have the time for it. Which probably explains why I’m NOT Internet famous. And that’s OK. I’ve realized I don’t want to make the Internet my life, and I’d have to do that to be famous on it. But I’m still having fun along the way and reading some great writers, so that’s all that matters.

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Filed under DD (aka My Man), Detroit, family values, glass half full

20SB Blog Swap: Shacking Up, a cynic’s tail

Happy blog swap day everyone! In honor of the 4th 20SB blog swap, I’ve bequethed my blog to Tremmy for the day. I officially “met” her last night and I just have to say that I already love her. Not only was she on the ball enough to clue me in to the blog swap craziness (I, obviously, am NOT on the ball), but she was so much fun to talk to as we rushed to plan our swap. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner, so without further rambling…here’s Tremmy!

Hello friends of A Super Girl! My name is Tremmy and I usually reside over at Phase: Next, a little corner of the Web, run off of a MacBook on the eastern panhandle side of West Virginia, but today 20sb has provided us with something a little different, the fourth blog swap. You can find A Super Girl here today, but I do hope you’ll stick around and hear what I have to say. This is my first time blog-swappin’ – but I think the folks over at 20sb really hooked me up – I’m completely in love with Super Girl’s blog already.

Like the good procrastinator I am, I realized the blog swap was happening the night before it did, so I’m writing this to make sure it arrives safely in Super Girl’s inbox for the morning. She thought it might be fun to have a similar theme, and it’s actually strangely appropriate that she chose – Shacking Up. Enjoy.

I don’t write about the boyfriend much. If I do it’s only in passing. He isn’t too down with the whole social networking Web site thing, and the first time he read my blog he was sad I didn’t mention him. I then mentioned him, and he said he hadn’t done much reading of Phase: Next recently. So, this, is rare.

I’ve been exposed to a lot of friends who have decided to take their relationships to the next level, recently. Be it shacking up, putting rings on it (thank you so much, Beyonce), or completely tying the knot, my friends are definitely not exhibiting the common signs of a commitment-phobe. My relationship is only a bit over a year, so I’m only a blip on the radar of my friends’ relationships, but one can’t help but assess, and sometimes worry, about the situation at hand when all of this love starts becoming more intense.

Instead of living the day by day browsing wedding dress Web sites (Say Yes to the Dress doesn’t count, right?) and wanting some bling to match my friends, I’ve been trying to focus on why the boyfriend and I totally aren’t ready (though it doesn’t change how much I love him at all) to take that scary step into infinity. And so…a bulleted list stating why my kitten and I will not be joined permanently by the boyfriend anytime soon.

  • Sleep – he doesn’t sleep here often. He needs a fan while I need noise a little bit of light. I’m a heavy sleeper to sound and light, and when he is here he tosses and turns. I could never sleep in an area on a fault line, one false move, and I’m up for the day. 
  • Food. The reason that needs no explanation. It goes along with sleep, but an insomniac graduate student and a full-time assistant manager. Right…you do the math.
  • Collecting $7 for our joint Netflix account is difficult most months, we won’t get into the pesky ordeal of rent and help with household needs.
  • Personal space. I’m just not ready to give it up.

And there you have it – hope for the rest of us out there who can admit we’re not ready to take that leap.
I wish my new bloggy friend A Super Girl well in her shacking up endeavors, though, and you all should, too!

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Filed under relationships, Uncategorized

Money’s funny honey

For the first time in probably a year, DD has not been traveling for work every week. Instead, he’s been working at a satellite office near my apartment, which means that we’re finally able to spend some time together during the week.

This also means we must now find things to talk about that last us longer than a weekend. Even though we’ve been dating nearly two years (holyshitthat’sawhile), there are still many Serious Relationship Conversations we’ve yet to have. Sure, we’ve glazed over kids, but we’ve never really addressed religion (though we were both raised Catholic).

And we’ve never talked about money.

I don’t know if that’s normal or not, but we’ve never openly discussed how much we make, how much we have in the bank (or not in the bank), and our general spending habits.

Until last night.

As I’ve mentioned, I’ve got some savings that need to be moved because the cash isn’t doing me any favors in its current low-interest savings account. To be honest, I’m pretty ashamed to talk about the amount I’ve saved because it’s incredibly abnormal for my age. It also presents a counter argument to my cheapskate persona that has a hard time spending money. Because I really do. It’s just my way. I’m very thoughtful about how I spend every dollar and how much I have saved. I’m a hoarder, because I always want to be prepared for what could happen.

Men who don’t understand my money views might not get why I’m not freer with my credit card when I have the money to be, so I choose to avoid talking about it in my relationships.

But since I want to do something more meaningful with that money, and since I have very little interest in learning about investing, I’ve turned to DD. He is a lot more interested than I am in investing and playing in stock market.

We’ve been talking around it for awhile, avoiding specifics, but last night we finally had some time to look at options. Which required me to be rather specific — he now knows the range my savings fall into, and we even discussed our respective salaries. The whole conversation went well and I didn’t sense any judgement or appearance of shock and awe. Whew.

People are funny about money; about how much they make, how much they spend, and how much they save. While DD and I both come into the relationship debt-free and making decent money, we have very different views on spending. DD has no problem dropping $100 on a bar night, or ordering rounds (and rounds) of drinks for his buddies. However, for me, $100 is a lot of money and as much as I love my friends, I find other ways to show that appreciation. I have a feeling if/when we get married, our diverse spending habits will be an adjustment for both of us; it’s probably good to start the conversation now.

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Filed under crazy crazy, DD (aka My Man), family values, relationships, Uncategorized

The many men of yoga

Sadly, I’m not talking about the newest calendar of half-naked men. Though that’s not a bad idea…

[pause for mental image]

Anyway.

Now that I’ve taken my yoga self to a real studio, I’m noticing that more and more men are in my classes. At the gym, there was always one or two, and it the class I took at a local community college there were none.

While I was waiting for torture class to start tonight, I looked around and realized the men in my class — and probably across the yoga spectrum — fall into very specific categories. They include:

  • The yoga duuuuude. This guy is so obviously there to meet women. Sure he enjoys the class, but it’s obvious there’s an alterior motive as he chats up the ladies. In my experience, he’s also a mat hog. As in, he overtakes his own mat and comes precariously close to invading your mat and subsequent personal space. Perhaps that’s all part of his game.
  • The hard-core yogi. He stands out in the crowd because unlike your other classmates, he is spending the few minutes before class getting into shape. Because apparently the 1+ hour workout you’re about to have just isn’t enough. His pre-class routine usually includes push-ups, arm circles, and various forms of stretching to “gear up” for the next 75 minutes of pushing yourself to the limit. (Again…why?) It should also be noted the hard-core yogi appears to be hard-core in other aspects of his life. For example, he’s covered in tattoos or has the back of his neck pierced with studs. (Seriously. The BACK of his neck. I didn’t even know that was possible.)
  • The husbandly-duty yogi. You’ll find this man next to his wife, fulfilling is role as a husband/boyfriend. He’s decent at yoga, but you can tell he’s only there to spend some QT with his wife.
  • The laid-back yogi. Possibly the most authentic of the crew. He’s into it enough that it affects his life, allowing him to be physically fit and in line with his spiritual energy. You’ll often find this yogi hugging his fellow classmates and making casual conversation before and after class. Yet, he’s not so into yoga that he ventures into the hard-core yogi category, mainly because he lacks the crazy warm-up routine.

Should you ever venture into a yoga class, consider yourself warned. Or, if you’re an avid people watcher like me, well, I hope you find the same joy in watching the many men of yoga.

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Filed under S is for sports

Wardrobe malfunctions

These days, it seems like I get dressed every morning, only to throw a shirt on and realize it barely covers my belly button. And that’s if I stand completely still and hunch over ever so slightly.

I’m a thin girl, so I buy my shirts in Small or Medium because otherwise I look like I’m wearing my boyfriend’s shirt — and not in a cute way. But then, they’re too small to cover my decent-sized assets (read: boobs) AND reach all the way past my waistband to cover the muffin top. Because even us thin girls have the muffin top, and even if I didn’t, I really don’t like having to re-adjust (read: yank) my shirt down every 5 seconds to avoid baring flesh at work.

I’ve noticed this wardrobe issue off and on over the years, but for some reason, it’s really starting to bug me. It seems like almost every day I’m tossing another shirt into the donate pile. This spring will have to include massive amounts of shopping to replace all the clothes that have shrunk or, let’s face it, only fit right when I was trying before buying and now don’t cover the necessary landscape. And speaking of shrinking clothes, I wash shirts in cold water with very little or no dryer time and they STILL shrink. I don’t understand. 

And don’t even get me started on blouses. I can’t even tuck a button down shirt into my slacks without the shirt riding up. I don’t understand how others around me can achieve this mysterious tucking-in fashion statement and yet my shirts must inevitably be left untucked and sloppy looking.

Seriously, the only shirts I’ve found that truly fit right and are long enough are the cheapy ones at Old Navy. Which work sometimes, but every once in awhile, I’d like a blouse or sweater to fit right, too.

/endrant

Please tell me I’m not the only one struggling with this issue.

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The simplest decisions

Lately, decisions have been on my mind. And just how simple some of the most important decisions of my life have been.

Sure, there have been some hard ones, too. I only decided where I went to college after months of agonizing and fighting with my parents. They wanted me to go to a smaller school; I wanted to go where my friend was going. The decision took forever to make and 5 years later, I consider it one of the best decisions I’ve made.

But then there are those that take 5 minutes but can change your life forever. Decisions like where to have dinner or whether to have drinks after work.

See, I wouldn’t have met DD had I not agreed to go to a Happy Hour one night. Something so simple that, had I changed my mind or chickened out (as I was close to doing), would have landed me in a very different place today. You never really think that having a cocktail is going to change your life. Sure, I knew I was meeting a guy, but I had no idea it was going to go where it has.

That’s the thing about decisions. You just never know how they’ll turn out.

What are some of the biggest simple decisions you’ve made?

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Filed under DD (aka My Man), Hmm