Money’s funny honey

For the first time in probably a year, DD has not been traveling for work every week. Instead, he’s been working at a satellite office near my apartment, which means that we’re finally able to spend some time together during the week.

This also means we must now find things to talk about that last us longer than a weekend. Even though we’ve been dating nearly two years (holyshitthat’sawhile), there are still many Serious Relationship Conversations we’ve yet to have. Sure, we’ve glazed over kids, but we’ve never really addressed religion (though we were both raised Catholic).

And we’ve never talked about money.

I don’t know if that’s normal or not, but we’ve never openly discussed how much we make, how much we have in the bank (or not in the bank), and our general spending habits.

Until last night.

As I’ve mentioned, I’ve got some savings that need to be moved because the cash isn’t doing me any favors in its current low-interest savings account. To be honest, I’m pretty ashamed to talk about the amount I’ve saved because it’s incredibly abnormal for my age. It also presents a counter argument to my cheapskate persona that has a hard time spending money. Because I really do. It’s just my way. I’m very thoughtful about how I spend every dollar and how much I have saved. I’m a hoarder, because I always want to be prepared for what could happen.

Men who don’t understand my money views might not get why I’m not freer with my credit card when I have the money to be, so I choose to avoid talking about it in my relationships.

But since I want to do something more meaningful with that money, and since I have very little interest in learning about investing, I’ve turned to DD. He is a lot more interested than I am in investing and playing in stock market.

We’ve been talking around it for awhile, avoiding specifics, but last night we finally had some time to look at options. Which required me to be rather specific — he now knows the range my savings fall into, and we even discussed our respective salaries. The whole conversation went well and I didn’t sense any judgement or appearance of shock and awe. Whew.

People are funny about money; about how much they make, how much they spend, and how much they save. While DD and I both come into the relationship debt-free and making decent money, we have very different views on spending. DD has no problem dropping $100 on a bar night, or ordering rounds (and rounds) of drinks for his buddies. However, for me, $100 is a lot of money and as much as I love my friends, I find other ways to show that appreciation. I have a feeling if/when we get married, our diverse spending habits will be an adjustment for both of us; it’s probably good to start the conversation now.



Filed under crazy crazy, DD (aka My Man), family values, relationships, Uncategorized

5 responses to “Money’s funny honey

  1. This is something I have always worried about too coming up with a significant other. It’s just a weird topic to talk about!

  2. Yeah money is really one of those hard things to figure out together especially if you have different perspectives on how to spend/save/invest it.

  3. me and my man came into our relationship with debts. with us both having been divorced recently (less than 5 years) its common.

    i control our money. he has a checking account that part of his check goes to and he can spend whatever or whenver he wants.

    in our prior relationships our significant others didn’t care about money. his exwife gambled thiers away and mine just spent it on junk. so coming in to this relationship we’re both being smarter with money.

    i too am finding it hard to find good places to invest our money. i’m not too trusting of the stockmarket right now and the interest rates in my savings account just isn’t cutting it. i think that i’m going to look into some CDs or something.

  4. E and I talk about money in the vaguest of terms. We both know I make more and I have a 401(k) and he does not, we know we’re both working on paying down credit card debt. I know his dad makes good money and sometimes sends a E a check for not reason, but I don’t know how much.

    And the only reason we know these things about each other is because we bitch about them a lot. The state of the economy has brought us closer together. 😛

  5. Money is one of those funny subjects that often pushes couples back into very traditional roles. It takes a lot for my husband to be OK with how much money I make because it makes him feel like he should be bringing more to the table, even though he makes a respectable salary. No matter how uncomfortable we feel, though, we’ve always been open about it. Glad to hear you and DD are getting there, too.

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