For the first time in probably a year, DD has not been traveling for work every week. Instead, he’s been working at a satellite office near my apartment, which means that we’re finally able to spend some time together during the week.
This also means we must now find things to talk about that last us longer than a weekend. Even though we’ve been dating nearly two years (holyshitthat’sawhile), there are still many Serious Relationship Conversations we’ve yet to have. Sure, we’ve glazed over kids, but we’ve never really addressed religion (though we were both raised Catholic).
And we’ve never talked about money.
I don’t know if that’s normal or not, but we’ve never openly discussed how much we make, how much we have in the bank (or not in the bank), and our general spending habits.
Until last night.
As I’ve mentioned, I’ve got some savings that need to be moved because the cash isn’t doing me any favors in its current low-interest savings account. To be honest, I’m pretty ashamed to talk about the amount I’ve saved because it’s incredibly abnormal for my age. It also presents a counter argument to my cheapskate persona that has a hard time spending money. Because I really do. It’s just my way. I’m very thoughtful about how I spend every dollar and how much I have saved. I’m a hoarder, because I always want to be prepared for what could happen.
Men who don’t understand my money views might not get why I’m not freer with my credit card when I have the money to be, so I choose to avoid talking about it in my relationships.
But since I want to do something more meaningful with that money, and since I have very little interest in learning about investing, I’ve turned to DD. He is a lot more interested than I am in investing and playing in stock market.
We’ve been talking around it for awhile, avoiding specifics, but last night we finally had some time to look at options. Which required me to be rather specific — he now knows the range my savings fall into, and we even discussed our respective salaries. The whole conversation went well and I didn’t sense any judgement or appearance of shock and awe. Whew.
People are funny about money; about how much they make, how much they spend, and how much they save. While DD and I both come into the relationship debt-free and making decent money, we have very different views on spending. DD has no problem dropping $100 on a bar night, or ordering rounds (and rounds) of drinks for his buddies. However, for me, $100 is a lot of money and as much as I love my friends, I find other ways to show that appreciation. I have a feeling if/when we get married, our diverse spending habits will be an adjustment for both of us; it’s probably good to start the conversation now.