Searching for passion

Passion is something that doesn’t come easy for me. It’s not that I have no passion, it’s just that my passions constantly change. I go through spurts where I just love a certain thing (yoga, blogging, writing, reading…) and then after overindulging that particular passion, I just get sick of it. So, I’ll take a break, move on to something else, and come back to it after some time has passed.

Which begs the question: Do I have any passion at all? 

After all, isn’t passion something that never goes away? Something that stays with you, buried deep in the pit of your being?

For the most part, I’ve been OK with the up and down nature of my passions. That is until my boss asked me to find my passion. And I? I looked at her like she had five heads and have proceeded to avoid her for the past five weeks.

Productive, I know. Maybe my passion is procrastinating?

I should probably get back to her with some sort of answer. See, she’s big on doing what you’re passionate about and this conversation is part of a bigger professional development conversation. One of her concerns is that I (and anyone, really) wake up in 20 years wishing I would have done something different. So she’s pushing me on it while I still have time to do something about it.

I get where she’s coming from and I appreciate the sounding board she provides. After all, she’s a pretty smart lady and one can learn a lot from her. But this passion thing? I truly have no idea where to look.

I actually really love what I do, but I wouldn’t say I’m passionate about it. There are a few days I love it, a few days I hate it, and many days in between where I just like it. Much like yoga.  Or writing. Or anything else I’ve ever claimed to be passionate about.

Maybe my definition of passion is too strict. Maybe I am passionate about what I do and just have unrealistic expectations about what passion really is.

So while I search for a passion that lasts longer than my usual whim, tell me: what does passion mean to you? And what are you passionate about?



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7 responses to “Searching for passion

  1. Hm, I don’t know. When I think of passion of think of very intense, focused feelings, and I don’t know if those can every really be completely permanent. Maybe your passion is something that started out that way, but then cooled into something less fiery but still interesting to you?

  2. I’m very much in the same boat as you. Passionate about certain things, though not always the same things all the time. Nowhere in the definition of passion do I see time defined. So, I say, don’t sweat it if your passion comes and goes. So long as you’re passionate for something, then I’d define you as passionate!

    (Maybe you should let your boss read these words to let her know where you’re coming from!)

  3. I so in the same boat. I like things but I don’t have one particular thing, such as sports or music that is my absolute passion. I don’t think that’s a bad thing either. It allows me to be open for everything!

  4. magda

    In my experience, passion can’t be conjured. I dated a guy for a long time who criticized me for having no “passions,” and I freaked out about it for awhile … but looking back, it’s overrated. Some people have talents and pronounced interests, and they should hone them, sure. But taking on interests because you feel you “should” totally defeats the purpose Resist! Resist, I say. Your twenties are the time to just hang out, try new things loosely, and feel it out. Your passions will find you. It’s kind of amazing when it happens; you’ll look back and wonder what all that fuss was about. Till then. ENJOY yourself; work hard, but don’t fret. They’ll come when they come, and there’s no use feeling inadequate in the meantime.

  5. ria

    i’m exactly the same way. i don’t know what i’m passionate about. that seems like such a strong word when there are over a billion things to do/learn/experience in this world. i think there are a select few that find what their passion really is. the rest of us are still trying to figure it out.

  6. Passion is such a strong word. I love my boy to itty-bitty pieces but it doesn’t feel like “passion” is the word to use for the way I feel about him. I am, however, deeply devoted to Diet Dr. Pepper, crossword puzzles, and Barbecue Beef Hot Pockets.

  7. I feel the same way as you, I think it’s totally normal. There are days when I absolutely hate my job, but I know I don’t want to be doing anything else.

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