bridesmaid dresses to burp clothes

All the busy-ness of life led me to shopping for both a wedding shower and a baby shower a couple weeks ago. It was as I was running into my second Babies R Us, clad in my red peep-toe pumps in the middle of a day of meetings, in search of a white jersey knit crib sheet, that I realized that my life? Is changing.

Wedding showers are old hat these days. I can scan a Bed, Bath & Beyond in half an hour flat and leave with the perfect set of towels, cooking utensils, or engraved picture frames.

Baby showers? Are a beast that I hadn’t prepared myself for. The world of strollers, bumper pads, and bottle drying racks is completely foreign. Babies R Us is Italy and I’m the girl standing in the middle of it, unable to understand how to buy a train ticket out.

Simply put, I feel behind.

It will be at least a couple years before marriage comes my way. And many years after that before I’m attending my own baby showers. And I’ve begun to wonder how my friends will rally ’round.

When they were getting married, I was by their sides, paying for the ridiculous bridesmaid dress, going to all the showers and bachelorette parties, and fawning over the bride-to-be. It was easy because life was simple. We were young and childless. There weren’t late night feedings taking our Friday nights or 60 hour work weeks that left us equally exhausted.

Frankly, the narcissist in me wonders if, when my time comes, they’ll be there the way I was for them. Or if the kids and the obligations will make “my time” somehow less significant. After all, when I’m just planning seating charts and centerpieces, they’ll be developing the minds of the next generation.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty happy with the path life is taking. I know I have someone I can spend my life with, and I’m no longer in a rush to walk down the aisle, because I know we’ll be together, wedding or not.

And I’m happy for my friends and the paths their lives have taken, but I also know that for the first time, my life is taking the other fork in the road. While I want to have kids someday, they’re the furthest thing from my mind today.

I’m thinking about bridesmaid’s dresses; they’re thinking about burp cloths. And the two are so, so different.

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8 Comments

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8 responses to “bridesmaid dresses to burp clothes

  1. justatitch

    I totally understand these feelings! It kind of freaks me out that soooo many friends have babies, and even though my bf and I are “serious”, marriage and babies are far from my mind. I can’t lie: I already see a difference in the quality of friendships with those who have kids. I can only imagine that it will get worse as they have more. It makes me sad, because I really, really believe that some (many) friendships exist out of convenience and commonalities—I seem to be losing those with some friends.

    I’ll stop ranting now. But great post! xo

    “The quality of friendships” – excellent wording and exactly how I’ve been feeling lately as well.

  2. i totally get this. two of my best friends just found out they are preggers! it’s so hard to ALL be on the same time frame going at the same pace. then again, that could get really tricky too. i mean hey, we can learn from their weddings, their showers, etc. what we want and dont want! there’s a little silver lining, right?

    Silver linings are ALWAYS good
    πŸ™‚

  3. Such an awesome post. And I think many of (clearly, seeing the above comments) can relate.

    I’ve kind of felt this way—glaringly behind—most of my life, thanks to being the youngest of three girls. When my time finally rolled around for anything, it was NEVER as big as deal, as exciting, or as all-consuming as it was for my sisters. Because, well, everyone had already been there and done that.

    I think your true friends will be just as excited for you when your time comes as you were for them, back then, regardless of whether toddlers are in tow or not. Even still, I know what you mean. I get it.

    I will be as excited for you when the time comes! Because you totally deserve it πŸ™‚

  4. I think one of the things that ALL brides need to remind themselves is that the MOST important thing about getting married is the union you’re forming with your groom. And that all the other details are mere details. To get caught up in any of them takes away from what’s really important.

    With that said, I got married when I was 34. Some of my bridesmaids were single. Others were married with children. Not once did I feel the married gals used motherhood as an excuse to be less involved. If you are sensitive to how much they’re able to give, my guess is they’ll be there for you when you ask.

    You are right that it’s so much more than the centerpieces. And I hope my friends are as wonderful as yours were!

  5. Oh my God, I totally hear you. I’m heading to a baby shower next weekend. When did I become an adult?

  6. Yeah I’m still in the friends getting “married” stage, babies seems far off…for now

  7. Oh, I’m sure they’ll be glad for a “vacation” to your wedding when the time comes!

  8. Reeder's Corner

    I’m in the behing mood too… i’m really behind cos i don’t even have a man!

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