The Registry

This past weekend, DD and I registered for the wedding. Sure, we’re still over 8 months out, but I enjoy being ahead of the game. Also? I’ve kind of been looking forward to registering longer than I’ve been looking forward to the wedding itself.

I swear I’m not totally gift-grabby, though what bride doesn’t stalk her registry? Honestly, I’m just so excited to choose things for *us* and begin to coordinate the stuff that will make up our to-be-determined living space so that it feels like home.

As excited as I’ve been about registering, I’ve been just as terrified of it. I was terrified of making decisions on which sets of pots to get and which color towels to get and blah blah blah. After all, part of the point of this is to find and receive things that will last us well into our married life. And I won’t lie, I was also afraid of trying to find common ground with DD since I know our tastes are different.

After a solid two hours in Bed, Bath and Beyond, we exited in one piece with our relationship still intact and with a lengthy list of items. No fights were had, not even a small skirmish.

Here are a few keys to our success:

  • Research. I spent many hours perusing BBB’s website to get an idea of china patterns I liked, bedspreads I liked, and kitchen appliances I wanted. When we got there, I was able to quickly narrow down a few choices that gave us a jumping off point to make a final decision together.
  • Lists. It’s the kitchen stuff I’ve been most excited about updating and expanding because currently most of my stuff is hand-me-downs. Over the last couple months I’ve kept a list of things I’d want as I came across them. When I had to bake cookies, it reminded me that I really need cooling racks. It also reminded me to get a bigger mixing bowl. When I made soup, it reminded me that I’d like a bigger stock pot. I also printed off several “what to register for” lists from the Interwebz and used those just to make sure I didn’t forget anything.
  • Compromise. DD doesn’t cook at all, so he let me rule the kitchen department. He held the gun, I told him what to scan. When it came to picking colors for bedding and bath, we compromised and each picked a color. I decided to be OK with neutral bedding instead of trying to talk him into a pattern that I’d like, but he wouldn’t. And as for the china, well, I really have no idea how we came to that decision so easily. It was my greatest fear as far as finding something we both liked and the choice came scarily easy. Maybe our tastes aren’t so different after all.
  • Helpful Staff. Our salesperson walked us through the china and fine gift section right away, which made it super easy to get that knocked off the list. Once we selected a pattern, she added everything in that category to save us time. We can of course go in and delete things we don’t want. After that, she gave us a quick “tour” of the store, pointing out the brands/products that were least likely to be discontinued or were the best in their class. That was helpful for the few things I hadn’t researched, like pots and pans. She was also good about leaving us alone but still being available if we had questions.

There were a few things that didn’t go perfectly as planned:

  • Sticker shock. Even though I’m not buying the stuff for myself, I was still well aware of how much some of our items cost. There were certain things I really wanted to include, regardless of price. But once those were added, I was afraid the other items we’d picked were too high. This lead to a slightly heated discussion in the knife aisle where I refused to select the $200 set and opted for an $80 set. First world problems, clearly.
  • Storage concerns. DD and I don’t know exactly where we’re going to live yet. The goal is a 2-bedroom apartment in Detroit, but we won’t start looking for a few more months. As the china settings and coffee makers and kitchen aids piled up, I grew increasingly concerned about where the hell we’d store everything. But, the beauty of registering early is that we can always remove things if we need to, and do it well before any pre-wedding parties, so I’m not too worried.
  • Really use v. want to use. As DD and I wandered the aisles, I had grand visions of dinner parties that would require fine china and fancy serving trays. DD had grand visions of morning coffee and evening espresso. But truthfully, will the visions come true or will the serving trays and dishes and espresso maker collect dust in the corner? Only time will tell I guess!


Filed under DD (aka My Man), decisions, list mania, Wedding

7 responses to “The Registry

  1. Registering seems like such a challenge! It’s great that you did so much research ahead of time- I’m sure that made a huge difference. I go back and forth about whether I’d want to register for China. I guess I just can’t see myself using it often enough to justify getting it, but I also don’t want to regret not having it down the road… Decisions! Not that I’m engaged or anything, lol.

  2. My sister and bro-in-law registered first for all the things they agreed on – the MUSTS that they’d really use. Then as the registry started thinning out after a few showers and pre-wedding gifts trickled in, they went back and added some WANTS, like corn dishes shaped like ears of corn.

    She said it was nice to know they were getting the kickass coffeemaker before they gave anyone the choice to buy them cute-but-unnecessary corn-shaped things instead.

  3. we didn’t have a wedding registry, but I am already looking forward to having a baby registry and I am going to go crazy!

    The good thing about bed bath and beyond is they have awesome coupons so hopefully your family and friends will know to use one!

  4. Great tips! I loved when my parents registered, it was like Christmas in July. Except, I got no gifts on the actual wedding day. I think making lists is so key and be aware of budget for sure. Registering for items at various price points is fine but don’t get too crazy. Some people need to remember that.

  5. The thing I enjoyed about registering was exactly that dreaming aspect–picking things out that I might not buy for myself because they aren’t “practical”. I’ve never, ever used my glass domed cheese plate, but hot damn, it looks beautiful on display in my hutch. And hey, you never know… 😉

  6. Sooooo glad you registered and still love each other. Talk about a serious test on a relationship! One thing we wound up doing with our baby registry that I wish we did for our wedding registry was a phased approach. What does that mean? Well, we started off our registry only with those items we really needed. We made sure there was a range of prices, so no one felt obligated to get us the $700 stroller. =) And, as things were purchased off the list, we began adding in other items that were nice to haves. It ensured we got some of the things we deemed necessary. If we had used that strategy with our wedding registry, I wouldn’t have had to return so many nice-to-have items in order to get our knives, pots and silverware.

  7. great tips…being VERY newly engaged myself, i haven’t even thought beyond anything but “ooh look at my sparkly ring” haha but i will definitely keep this post in mind when we get to that point!

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