(Yes, MMP, it’s you I’m talking about. Happy birthday!)
The man I relied on for a long while and a big part of my life story. Unfortunately, I couldn’t fully let him in until it was too late. We’re both happy now and have gone our separate paths, but I do miss our friendship — in all its complicated glory.
Filed under 50x365, relationships
I just had the oddest phone conversation with my mother.
Mom: Did your phone just dial me by accident?
Me: Not that I know of. Why?
Mom: Well, I had a voice mail from you and when I checked it, I just heard some background noise and you saying ‘ass’ and then ‘groin’.
[Awkward pause.]
Mom: What were you doing? [Said with a mix of fear/judgement that I may have been having sex (gasp!) at the time as well as concern for my well-being]
Me: [Also thinking of all the inappropriate situations I could be in where those words might be uttered.] Hmm…. OH, well now that you mention it, I did make those two comments when I was leaving work today because both my ass and groin hurt from yoga.
Mom: Oh, good. I wasn’t sure what you were doing or if you were being kidnapped or something.
Me: Well, if I was being kidnapped, why would I say those words?
Mom: I don’t know? Maybe you were being grabbed in those spots on your body.
It’s clear I need a new phone. I’ve known for awhile that it likes to dial people randomly and without provocation because it sucks. But I’ve been holding out for my contract to expire in a few months so I get a (sorta) free phone. Clearly, it’s ornery-ness has reached new heights. This time it actually dialed itself from inside my purse, with the keypad allegedly locked. Obviously that lock function is just a veil of security — and one I won’t fall for anymore. This time was an innocent situation, but God forbid it happens again when I’m in the middle of a not-so-innocent situation.
Filed under family values
I’m (very slowly) writing about people in my life and including random numbers and their names in headlines. I realized tonight that perhaps they may wonder what on earth it is.
It’s called the x365 project. Basically, you’re supposed to write daily for a year about a different person who has influenced your life. Many people have chosen to limit their posts to a certain number of words, perhaps in an effort to make it more profound. I however, find the limit to be frustrating and, well, limiting. But I’m a follower, so I’ve created the limit of 50 words. Hence the category “50×365”. Anytime you see a number followed by an “x” and 365, that’s what the post is about. The number is of course the number of people I’ve gotten through, which is currently only a measly 5.
When I found the project, which has been going for a while now, it motivated me to finally get off my duff and start a “real” blog, but I’ve found it’s become an almost nonexistent part of my blog. I’ll try to be better.
Filed under 50x365
In the absence of anything of note occurring, and the need to post something, anything to keep this thing going, I present a list of things I’m looking forward to over the next few weeks. For a resident cynic, this is quite glass-half-full of me.
June is going to be quite the good month.
Filed under DD (aka My Man), Detroit, foodie, glass half full
I’m already addicted to The Bachelorette. Truth be told, this is the first Bachelorette season that I’ve watched. But I did watch the season that she (and everyone else) was rejected by the Bachelor — the season that stunned America. (dun da DUN)
DeAnna’s a nice girl, a guy’s girl, so it should be fun to watch. Especially since the last season of the Bachelor was kind of a bore. None of the women were standouts and I just didn’t care, I watched more out of habit than genuine interest.
But with The Bachelorette, I’ve already got my first impression faves (in order of favorite-ness):
The quiet horse could definitely be Eric the senior analyst, who is Greek. DeAnna is also Greek and her heritage is very important to her. He could swoop in on that alone.
The one person I was sad to see go was Luke, the oyster farmer. He was a little dopey, but you just had to feel for the guy. But, at least she got rid of most of the crazy crazies.
And last but not least, one of the crazy crazies, Greg. A personal trainer who wasn’t chosen and literally ripped off his shirt into multiple pieces to show off his muscles and tattoos. And then proceeded to howl at the moon. I’m pretty sure he has a small penis.
I’m ridiculously exhausted, but my biggest fear is that I won’t be able to sleep tonight, thanks to my cold and the fact that I find it near impossible to sleep through the night when alone in my apartment. Just another peril of living alone I guess; I just toss and turn and wake up to almost every sound. I’ve gotten used to it, but this cold makes it a bit more unbearable.
Exhaustion aside, it was still a decent weekend in Milwaukee. I was definitely ridiculously sick, and it crossed my mind on more than one occasion that I shouldn’t have gone. Luckily the one time that the thought really creeped in (when DD’s friends wanted to go out after dinner on Friday night when it was already midnight) I asked him to drop me back by the place we were staying and he did — and stayed with me instead of going back out to booze it up with his friends. I felt bad I was impeding on his weekend, but I expressed that to him and he said it was fine, so I got over it and that was that.
Luckily on Saturday, I felt better and was able to enjoy the wedding we went to even though my voice was gone and a nasty cough was setting in. But the wedding was awesome. I don’t even know the couple and I still thought the ceremony was beautiful and the reception amazing. The party was at a brewery and it was definitely the coolest venue I’ve seen. The colors were black and white with green accents, and I loved the linens and flowers and everything the couple chose. They had a Riverdance-type trio for the cocktail hour and beginning of dinner and I loved it. I’m normally not a big band person at weddings — my old age shows because I think it’s just too damn loud — but I like the combo of a band and then the DJ so we could all put our dancing shoes on. They even had a photobooth to go in and shoot pictures of yourself. Then the booth gave you two copies, one to keep and one to paste into a memory book along with a little note to the bride and groom. So cute, and I’m a big fan of the keepsake currently hanging on my fridge.
So it’s obvious I loved the wedding, just wish I could have been totally healthy so I could’ve enjoyed some of the booze. My only complaint for the whole night (aside from my very sexy, but very tight dress that got rather uncomfortable after a large dose of wedding food) was the lack of slow songs. I’m a mushy girl and I love having the opportunity to actually slow dance with my man at weddings. After all, it’s pretty much the only time you get to do that! This wedding literally had 2 slow songs the whole night and I was quite disappointed. Ah well.
On the 6 hour ride home, DD and I had good talks of the relationship-variety, so while I joked before the trip that it would be good bonding time for us, it really turned out to be that way I think. Remember last week how I was complaining about his lack of communication? Well, he totally gets my complaint, but the thing is, that’s just who. he. is. And he recognizes I don’t like it (which is better than him not getting it at all), but made it very clear this isn’t about me, it’s him. If he was dating anyone else, he’d be talking to them and seeing them just as much. It’s just how he is, whether it’s his family or his friends or his significant other. And then he made a comment that really hit home. He said that several months ago I told him that he had to like me for who I am, even if it’s not who he is – and that the same rule should apply to him. In that case, it was about my non-bar star ways compared to his. In this case, it’s about phone communication. And he has a point. He has definitely made some compromises and gained a better understanding and acceptance of my hatred of bar nights, so I have to decide if I can handle this thing about him that sometimes frustrates me. When I take into account all the things about him I do like — his goofiness, his kindness, his generosity, his patience — I find so many more important things about him I do like. So I guess maybe I’m going to have to adjust my communication needs, because in the grand scheme of the world, those other things are more important and more difficult to find all rolled into one person.
All in all, a very good talk, encompassing other things I won’t get into here because they’re all a bunch of half-baked conversations that we continue to have and arrive at no conclusion, just more questions and a slightly better understanding, if that’s possible. But sickness and all, I’m very happy I went. Just wish the cold would subside!
And now, off to attempt that thing called sleep.
Filed under DD (aka My Man), perils, relationships, travel
A friend and I were talking once about the various perils you face when you live alone. She brought up the excellent point that she’s always been afraid of falling down in the shower because if she got injured, how would she call someone?
Well, no need to wonder what happens when you fall down in the shower, because I did that today, and lived to tell the tale. While taking a luxuriously long shower, I must have slipped on a wet spot (what isn’t wet?) and for a few seconds I just slided around, trying to grab onto something — anything — to prevent me from falling. Alas, that was not to be and I went down, complete with shaving gel and a razor. All I could think was “Oh my God, I’m going to break my arm and I’m going to have to call 9-1-1 and some hot paramedic is going to have to pick up my naked, broken body and that’s going to be pretty damn embarrassing. Kind of like that Sex and the City episode where Miranda screws up her neck after getting out of the shower and ends up laying naked on the floor, only to have Aiden come find her and have to deal with her naked self.
Luckily, I landed on my bad shoulder, which was dislocated in college due to a disagreement I got into with my bike. That shoulder’s been a little off ever since, so it really was the perfect appendage to land on since it tends to bounce back easier due to previous traumas.
I’m beginning to think this really isn’t my week. But at least the humor of the situation made me feel better about this cold I’m fighting.
Filed under Excuse me while I trip on myself, perils
I do not understand how this illness came on. Literally, last night I was at yoga, all focused and relaxed in downward dog, feeling completely fine, when I felt a little throat tickle. I tried to cough it away, and it got worse. A mere hour and a half later, I was experiencing full-on cold symptoms. I found myself curled up on DD’s bed, pulling his bedspread over me, crying because I was sick…and this is the worst time to get sick…and why couldn’t I get sick last week because this weekend we have a wedding out of town that I’ve been looking forward to for weeks because I get to wear a sexy black dress I bought last December. As I wiped the tears away, he looked at me like I had five heads, kept his mouth shut, and folded me in his arms. Because what else do you do with a sick, hormonal woman?
I’m definitely a wimp when it comes to sickness. But in my defense, my sicknesses lately have been particularly annoying because they come at very inconvenient times. Like when DD and his friends plan a big fancy dinner at one of the top restaurants in the city. Or anytime the same two friends come into town. They must think I’m not real because the past two times they’ve come to visit, I’ve been home, sick on my couch, while everyone else gets to go out and play.
On the plus side, I worked from home today, and once I finally got the strength to get off the couch to make some soup, I also changed the channel from soap operas and put in my beloved West Wing DVDs. I have an absolute love affair with this show and even though I’ve seen every episode a million times, I still can’t get over it. The smart writing, amazing actors, and fabulous DC-ness just sucks me in. Plus, it’s actually an eerily psychic show, considering they had a plotline a few years ago about the Democratic Party being at odds and unable to decide on a candidate, all the way up to the Democratic National Convention. Sound familiar?
Filed under DD (aka My Man), love affair
1. Ohhh, Bachelor Matt. Why, oh why did you choose Shayne? I mean, I realize the alternative wasn’t anyone special either. In fact, she came out of nowhere and you’ve been all about Shayne since the beginning. But c’mon…she’s 22 and ACTS 18. You’re like 30 and an investment banker. I can’t believe you just want arm candy. But maybe that’s what British investment bankers care about. I just don’t get it. You seem like an intelligent guy, don’t you want someone who knows there’s not palm trees in London?!
2. Ohhh, DD. We take 4 steps forward and 1 step back. You’ve been gone over a week on a business trip and family vacay. I’ve talked to you once on the phone and nearly daily via text. Lack of phone time aside, I half expected you to call me to let me know you got in safely today. Maybe even say “hey, let’s get together tonight, I missed you.” But nothing. Not even a text. I’m sure you have a good reason, you’re not a bad boyfriend. You were probably working late; could even still be at work. You probably needed to catch up on the homefront. I know that I could just as easily call you and avoid much of my annoyance. Relationships are a two-way street after all. But I like to let you steer the car down this particular street because your independent streak needs it to go at your pace right now. And mostly I’m OK with that. But some days I wish your pace was faster than a turtle.
Filed under DD (aka My Man), rants
Why is it that women put the men in their lives before their girlfriends? I’m not even talking about husbands, who naturally should come before anyone else. I’m talking about plain old boyfriends. And I won’t even take myself out of this situation, I am just as guilty as the next smitten kitten.
It’s on my mind because it happened to me this past weekend. A girlfriend and I made plans, only to have half of them cancelled because new plans came up with her boyfriend. Granted, I fully accepted her profuse apologies because the bf had gotten a ticket for her to the Red Wings playoff game. Definitely an excusable ditch…and besides, I ended up getting a ticket for the game with another friend, so it all worked out.
The situation did get me thinking about the issue in general, though. As my friend apologized left and right, I explained that I totally understood the situation this time, but I realized that I wish we hung out more overall. And I feel that about all my friends. But, many of them have husbands or boyfriends and those come first. Trust me, I know how that goes — I’m equally at fault of cancelling plans (or hesitating to make them) in favor of what my significant other and I are doing (or might be doing).
I don’t know why we do this. Men don’t ditch their friends for the women in their lives. If it’s poker night, it’s poker night. They don’t check what our plans are for the weekend before making plans of their own. If they don’t get to see us because they make separate plans, it’s not a big deal; they know they’ll see us a different day. Why can’t we be more like that?
Instead, we wait to make plans with our girlfriends so that we know our man’s plans first. In fact, girls nights are often initiated in my circle of friends when a man is out of town and the woman needs something to do.
I’ve tried to be better about this bad habit since dating DD. I was infamous for it pre-DD, but he makes it easier to avoid because he is very independent. He has made it clear that I’m a priority, but so are his friends, family and career, and that means we’re not going to see each other every single day. It was difficult to adjust to at first, but now I actually enjoy the fact that I can keep my own routine and not feel like I’m giving up my own hobbies to be completely available for him. Yet, I still find myself waiting to make plans until the last minute on weekends because that’s the main time he and I get to spend time together. And by the time I find out our plans and know the available time I have to spend with friends, they’ve inevitably made plans of their own. So we’re back at square one.
I’m not really sure of the solution. Maybe you get to the point where you’re living together and seeing each other every single day, so the prospect of hanging out with your friends is actually more enticing than spending time with your significant other.
Filed under DD (aka My Man), Hmm, relationships
A Super Girl 