That last post was pretty Sad Sally, wasn’t it?

It’s amazing what 10 days will do. Well, that and the prospect of a two week vacation.

Yep, that’s right. As of 5 p.m. this evening, I will be off until after Christmas! Now, this means I will be working in between Christmas and New Year’s, so as you guys are enjoying that time to yourself, I’ll be cursing this early vacay. But for now, I’m choosing to rub it in wherever I can.

I’m in dire need of some time away. The past month or so, I’ve been a bit burnt out. Not because of too much work, but because of too little. That, combined with a general lack of inspiration in what I’m doing has made getting through the past few weeks quite a task.

But no more! My goal is to take some time resting and recouping from yet another fantastic year, and then throwing myself into 2010. Because I have a feeling it will be a pretty great year!

So, what am I going to do with my time off? Well, I’m glad you asked!

• Shopping Detroit. I can’t totally complete my shopping list within city limits, but some friends and family will be getting gifts from some of my favorite local boutiques…namely Bureau of Urban Living and City Bird. There will also be a healthy dose of Pewabic Pottery in the mix!
• Netflixing my brains out. I’m hoping to finish Six Feet Under!
• Spending QT with DD. God, his work schedule has sucked lately. In fact, I haven’t talked to him, aside from a couple blackberry messages, since 6 a.m. Tuesday morning. We share about half of my time off together and I’m looking forward to kicking back together!
• Reading! A new book club book awaits, as do a stack of books I stole from my mom’s house over Thanksgiving.

It’s not that I haven’t had things to blog about this week — it’s just that I’ve been feeling a bit…off.

Maybe it’s because DD’s been out of town for work all week, a change of pace from the beginning of our relationship. The first year and a half was spent with him gone almost every week. I got used to it. Developed my own routine.

This year, he’s been home every week. Still working late, but home. And the past 6 months, with me living just a few blocks away, we’ve seen each other nearly every day. We’ve developed a new routine. Together. So having him gone this week has caused my new routine to suddenly go up in flames. I don’t know what to do, where to go, how to be. Odd, but true.

Or maybe it’s the broken toe. It’s in this place where I’m back to walking normally, where there’s not much pain, but not quite to the place where I can get rid of the shoe boot or work out. Which is getting REALLY depressing. I feel so close, and yet so far.

Or maybe it’s the news I got yesterday. News that the prescription assistance I’ve been getting for two of my oh-so-pricey, but oh-so-life-saving transplant medications will run out in a few months. Because I’m a go-getter and got a promotion awhile back, and my income is now too high. Yet, amazingly, not high enough to pay the $10,000 a year that the drugs cost without coverage. Apparently, the drug companies believe otherwise, though.

I’ve got a plan and am fairly confident I will get coverage of some sort that will help me decrease my personal costs. But, it’s still there, a worry in the back of my head.

Maybe, it’s news that the wife of a blogger I read is back on the transplant list. She has the same illness I do, and that illness is the reason we both received kidney transplants. Hers was 11.5 years ago, mine was nearly 6 years ago.

I’ve never met Bob and Jeanne, but things like organ transplants tend to bring you close to those who have gone through it too. So, it’s hard for me to hear this news. Not only am I concerned for her and her family, but stuff like this also reminds me of my own mortality — and the mortality of my transplanted kidney. They don’t last forever, you know, but when you’re a young, otherwise healthy person, you really, really want them to.

I want to get married, have babies, advance in my career, travel, and do nothing but sit on my couch and enjoy the life I have. Will there be time? For the most part, I live in the present and these thoughts don’t often enter my brain cells. But there are times, like this week, when I don’t feel the biological clock tick like so many women my age, but instead I feel the life clock tick. And trust me, that ticking? Is much louder, and much, much scarier.

There’s lots of maybe’s out there, hanging in the air, bringing me down.

Alternatively titled: the one where my toe gets in the way.

Not much of an update this week. As you may have seen in the addendum to my last post, I broke my toe last week. So, that puts all work-out related things on hold, and basically everything else because apparently a broken toe equates to me losing all sense of motivation to get off the couch.

This is my first broken bone, like EVER, and trust me, I’m very glad it’s just my toe and not my arm or something more serious. But, there’s not much one can do for a broken toe except wait it out. And think about life. Hence, the lessons I’ve learned this week:

1. The second yoga is taken away from me, I want it back ASAP. I was rarely going, but the very minute I realized I could no longer walk, much less stand on one foot while contorting my body, I hated life. It will likely be a good month before I can get back to the mat. I’ve gone a month without yoga before, but never by force.
2. DD is kind of amazing. He’s off this week, so he’s driving me back and forth to work, even though I live a mere four blocks away from my office. But, 4 blocks on a broken toe is like 4 miles, so I appreciate the offer. He also drove me out to my parents this weekend (the aforementioned toe is on my right foot, so I’m hesitant to drive).
3. Toes are kind of important! I’m amazed at how much I use them — and how much I can’t use them right now. While it hurts less, I’m still limping and because of my awkward gait, the rest of my foot/ankle is all jacked up. I may be a permanent gimp!
4. Broken toes are rather common. Seems like everyone I’ve talked to has broken his or her toes. We are a nation of klutzes, obvi.
5. I miss my heels.

Luckily it is hurting a lot less than it was. I can put more weight on it, and will hopefully be able to return to a normal gait this week. The shoe boot I got helps, as I apparently had no sandals appropriate for broken toes.

there is a downside, though. With the holidays just around the corner, I’m particularly excited at the prospect of wearing my fashionable shoe boot to not one, but TWO weddings, plus DD’s office party.

I’m SO going to be the belle of all the balls.

We’re into week 2 of the official goal watch here at House O’ Super Girl, so let’s check in with our fearless leader…

To keep track, I’ve decided to go by a color system to give you the easy update — green means accomplished; yellow means stalled; and red means not done at all.

Clever, right?

Goal 1: Up the cardio

GREEN!

The goal was 30-60 minutes, at least 3 days a week. Accomplished last week, and on par for this week. Lessons have been learned along the way. Stretching is a must, and variety is key. I’m noticing it’s getting harder to accomplish the same thing week after week, when it should be getting easier. I think I just need to switch up what I’m doing.

I also hit a wall last Wednesday, when I dragged myself to the gym at 9 p.m., and slogged through 30 minutes on the elliptical. It was the worst 30 minutes of my life. Other lessons learned: time of day matters and Law & Order is not a good show to work out to.

Goal 2: Get back into yoga

YELLOW.

I was aiming for one class a week. Easy, right? Last week was a no-go because my car was in the shop. This is actually a lame excuse because I could have easily picked up a class at the YMCA behind my apartment, but? I hate their classes. And I was lazy.

This week, however, I’m on track. Yoga was tonight, so I can cross this goal off for the week!

Goal 3: Better sleep schedule

This gets a RED and a GREEN because there were actually two components.

Component One was getting to bed before 11:30 every weeknight and reading instead of falling asleep to the TV. With the exception of a much needed late night grocery run last night, I’ve met this goal every night with flying colors.

Component Two was waking up before 8 a.m. Which gets a big fat FAIL. This has honestly been the hardest of all the goals I’ve set and it’s really weighing on me. In most cases, I’m not OVER sleeping until 8, I’m fully awake, but refuse to get out of bed. (Yes, my bed is THAT comfortable).

I suppose you could say it’s an accomplishment that I’m no longer sleeping through until 8, but I’ve really got to work on the whole getting out of bed thing. And so far this week, I don’t seem to be doing any better. Any suggestions on meeting this goal would be a huge help!

Goal 4: Forge a more adult relationship with the fam

Yellow.

I’ve done my part, now it’s just a matter of my parents getting back to me with schedules — and agreeing to hang out with me in the first place! Sad, but true.

My first foray into this goal was inviting them to my house for dinner. I’ve repeatedly asked them for dates that work for them and offered dates that work for me. They just aren’t getting back to me. To be fair, they’ve undertaken some home improvement projects of late, and we have hoards of family coming into town next week, so I imagine stress is high. I’m hoping after Thanksgiving, we’re able to get together. In the meantime, I’ve offered my services this weekend to help them get their house put back together.

All in all, a mixed bag. My biggest issue right now is getting up early. Every morning I kick myself for not getting out of bed sooner. Every evening I go to sleep with every intention of getting up earlier the next day. And every morning comes around and there I lay, contemplating life’s mysteries.

I will say the extra exercise is doing wonders mentally and physically. I’ve noticed the ever-so-slight slimming in the waist (which will most assuredly go back to normal when I eat the box of M&M’s DD gave me last night).

It’s also gotten me back into a routine, and forced a better work/life balance (that, or my work is allowing me to BE more balanced right now). Whatever it is, I’ll take it!

Ed. Note: The morning after I posted this, I woke up early (yay!) and proceeded to break my toe. Maybe. This puts all workout goals on hold for the near future. Just can’t win!!

I’ve never been good with goal-setting. Just ask my boss. Several times a year, we bicker and banter through the process, with me inevitably getting frustrated and her laughing her evil Miranda Priestly laugh.

It’s not fun.

Personal goal-setting is about the same for me. I think about it, but I don’t do anything about it.

But I’ve decided it’s time to try something different. I’m hoping that by putting it out there in the big ol’ blogosphere, maybe I’ll keep up with some of them!

Goal 1: Up the cardio
I was reading in article in SELF that proposed aiming for 350 minutes of cardio per week. I know I can’t commit to anywhere near that much gym time, but it did renew my interest in being healthy. So I’m committing to 3 days a week of 30-60 minutes on the elliptical or bike.

Goal 2: Get back into yoga
It’s been months since I was on any sort of regular yoga schedule, and even longer than that since I’ve been to class more than once in a week. But I do want to make a concerted effort to get back to a weekly class, with the hope of one day getting back to a couple times a week. I have a feeling this is the goal that’s most likely to falter, though, but let’s give it a whirl.

Goal 3: Better sleep schedule
I’ve been staying up until 12 or 1 and waking up after 8. Lucky for me, I have a flexible work schedule…but I would like to become a slightly better morning person. So my goal is to get to bed by 11 (11:30 at the latest). On the flip side, I’m aiming to wake up around 7:30 instead of 8:15.

Goal 4: Forge a more adult relationship with the fam
I’ve realized that much of my relationship with my parents is still the parent/child relationship. I rely on them for a lot, and don’t really offer much in return. So my goal is to invite one or both of them to one event a month, outside of our usual or already planned get togethers. This month for example, I invited them to come to my house for dinner. In the 3+ years I’ve been on my own, I have yet to have them over for a meal. Maybe other months will just be a movie or something small, but for me, this is about making plans and fitting them into my life more than I have been.

Those are the goals. All goals I think I can handle. In fact, I gave myself a week before posting to see if I could actually do them. And I did! Now let’s just hope I can keep up with them in week 2.

Facebook and I are having a bit of a throw down lately. Each day, I feel more and more as if etiquette has gone out the window.

I realize that proper grammar, is like, SO 2000, but seriously? Use capital letters and punctuation once in awhile!

I’m referring to a cousin, who, each time I read his status updates, I want to drive the 12 hours to Nebraska just to smack him upside the head. A recent update:

ok back to my game and finding food then who knows today is gonna be boring

I don’t even know what to do with that sentence. He couldn’t be bothered to reach his right ring finger down on the keyboard and throw in a period somewhere? I know it’s too much to as for a cleverly placed dash or ellipse, but c’mon! A period is all I’m asking for!!!

This kid is 21 years old. He should know better. It makes me sad that kids today have this level of grammatical expertise. Because you know this isn’t just a cool thing to do on Facebook. I’d bet money this is how he turns in his term papers. I’ve never thought about unfriending a blood relative, but he’s got me seriously considering it.

If I’ve ignored you once, chances are I will continue to ignore you. TAKE. THE. HINT.

I am (well, WAS) friends with someone who used to work at my office and who, truth be told, I didn’t really know. Couldn’t even tell you what she looked like, don’t remember when she worked there, yada yada. But several other co-workers are friends, and I’m a friend whore, so I friended her when I received her request.

She’s an entrepreneur who is apparently using Facebook as a marketing medium. Fine. But when she repeatedly (and by repeatedly I mean EVERY. DAY.) invites me to become a “fan” of her “page” and I repeatedly (and by repeatedly I mean EVERY. DAY.) ignore the request, you’d think she’d take the hint.

Or not. So then I resorted to unfriending her. She’s the first person I’ve ever unfriended in all of my social networking history. We’re talking way back to MySpace days. But desperate times call for extreme Facebook action.

And guess what? The next day? She invited me to “fan” her “page”. AGAIN. At which point I began to get slightly creeped out. Why was she stalking me? Why was I so critical to her business that she NEEDED me to be a fan?!

It was then that a colleague reminded me that she’d recommended me as a freelancer for some writing the Facebook Crazy needed. At which point I felt bad and felt that maybe I should become a fan of her page and friend her again. But then I remembered that there’s a such thing as e-mail, and if she knows how to continually invite me to her page (a very impersonal communication), she can certainly send a personal e-mail.

So every day, I continue to hit “Ignore”. Perhaps I’m shooting myself in the foot denying potential business for myself. But if someone can’t remember common business etiquette, then they need more help than I can offer.

Babies. All. The. Time.

I have a best friend. She’s the one I go visit every Labor Day. She just had a baby. Don’t get me wrong, I get the whole “babies change everything” motto.

Best Friend just got on Facebook. I was totally geeked. Finally, we could keep in touch more than the occasional e-mail or visit. I could hear about her life, and sure, her baby’s, too.

It’s become apparent to me that the only reason she joined Facebook is to have an online Baby Book, because that’s the only thing she talks about. Aside from a brief status update relating to her latest Netflix, it’s babies 24/7.

I’m happy to see photos of the little muffin and coo and coddle just as much as the next Facebook-er. But I miss my friend. And this is just a daily reminder that she and I now lead completely different lives.

As the stories add up, it’s becoming apparent to me that I need to take some dramatic action. Maybe unfriend a few more people. Maybe hide their updates so I don’t receive every single alert about THE! CUTEST! BABY! IN! THE! WHOLE! WORLD!

And to the haters — I get that my Facebooking may in turn annoy people. My updates are largely uninteresting and I may be guilty of over-sharing on occasion. But, at least Iknow how to use proper punctuation and can take a hint when I’m not wanted. Just as I may unfriend you, you are more than welcome to unfriend me.

That’s equal opportunity Facebooking, y’all.

Lately, I’ve been feeling rather unmotivated.

I’m coming off of a couple intense months at work, and though I have lots still to do, none of it is critical, deadline-driven work. Which means that for the past two weeks, I’ve been playing it pretty fast and loose. Getting to work late. Leaving on time. Not accomplishing much in the time I’m there. Obviously a mental break I needed, but it’s annoying to know you’re not accomplishing anything…and yet do nothing to correct the situation.

In addition, when I get home, I’ve just been foraging for whatever junk is in the fridge and laying on the couch. I think my body is craving rest, but I also recognize that my gym schedule has all but gone down the toilet and my sleep schedule seems off. Like, up ’til 2 a.m. on a Tuesday, off.

I’ve been thinking I’d like to channel Nilsa and set up some personal improvement challenges for myself. I was reminded of it again today when SLynnRo wrote about NoImYoSeMo. Instead of NaNoWriMo (Nat’l Novel Writing Month for you non-writers out there), she does November Improve Yourself Month.

I love the idea of it, but know that I? Am not one to keep up with goals I set. I blog about this whole lack of motivation or lethargy I feel every so often…and then promptly do nothing about it.

But the thing is, there are glimpses of activity. Like tonight. There was a hearty cardio workout followed by a quiet, homemade, healthy meal. If only I could do that 4 out of the 7 days of the week, I’d be a happy girl.

 

P.S. — Thanks all for the kind words about the whole mother/daughter drama that I wrote about earlier this week. We spoke and seem to have ironed things out. It was really less of an issue of the argument itself, and more an issue of her being hurt and me not recognizing that detail. And like I said, the situation did give me a chance to reflect on my relationship with my parents, and it’s something I’m committed to improving. Maybe that should get added to my challenge list?!

One of my favorite parts of my apartment is this:

It took me several days to capture it in the right light — photography is not my expertise — but I persevered. I’ve been wanting to get the view from my loft on film since I moved in.

While it’s the “less expensive” view in my building, it’s the better view. It’s dynamic and urban. It’s soft light that only adds to the ambiance of a quiet evening at home. In the summer, it was flashes of fireworks on a Tigers game night and sounds of cars and clubs on an average Friday evening. In the winter, I imagine it will be serene and hazy as the snowflakes fall.

It’s no wonder I’m excited for the season’s first snow storm.

This is the Detroit I love.

The weekend was…interesting.

Saturday, I had a wedding shower, followed by scheduled family QT. Which promptly morphed into my mother shouting at me over the phone, me shouting back, her shouting some more, and then getting my father in on the shouting at me — just for good measure.

It all started over something small — a miscommunication about the day’s plans. I recognize the part I played in the situation and what I could have done differently. But I also recognize that it was a miscommunication — and that more than just I am at fault. We all had a part to play in the breakdown in communication, which means no one’s at fault and it’s just one of those things you typically put in the “shit happens” bucket.

My mother was apparently having an irrational moment, though, because her response was the opposite of typical. My hunch is that she read more into the issue and thought I was being a heartless bitch and purposefully miscommunicated for my own benefit. Which is ludicrous, not to mention slightly hurtful that she has that opinion of me.

My other hunch is that there’s some sort of issue that’s been brewing for weeks — perhaps months — and it finally bubbled over amidst an otherwise innocent issue. If I think about the past few months there are several things I should have done differently with respect to my relationship with my family. Things you don’t think about when you’re going through the motions of life such as I have been. Things that can be repaired — when communicated about rationally.

Instead there was a quick, but huge, blow-up, which has been followed by almost three days of silence.

I’m not good with confrontation. Sure, I can fight with the best of them. But when it comes to talking things out rationally, I falter. I have to mull it over. I have to practice in my mirror. I have to plan my approach so that I communicate my side accurately and prepare to actively listen to the other side.

All of this takes time. Which is why the fight happened on Saturday and I haven’t talked to her since. I needed Sunday to process and today I had to work late. After all, life is continuing and my life? Is relatively busy these days.

However, I know she’s getting increasingly upset by the hour, which is going to make our conversation tomorrow all the more exciting. Or terrifying.

The thing that really frustrates me is that I know when we do talk, my side is going to get lost. I obviously have done something wrong, and for that, I need to apologize. But I have no idea what that is, and still contend that the issue that seeminly caused the blow-up is not something I did wrong and is just a mask for a bigger issue.

But I’m afraid she’s just not going to listen to that rationalization. That whatever crazy has inhabited her body this week, she’s going to let it overtake her and completely block out any sort of bigger picture conversation I want to attempt.

In taking the extra time before reacting, I’ve at least realized there are several things that I’ve probably done “wrong” the past few months. Not malicious, just neglectful. I’ve seen them less, seen DD’s family more. I’ve neglected to call, and haven’t initiated any other form of conversation in place of that. My work life and social life have been nonstop, and my family life has fallen in priority. Plus, my family and I don’t “plan” time together, so when there are other set plans filling my calendar, I end up neglecting mom and dad. I’ve thought about how I could do things differently, but it will require changing the way my parents and I interact. And I hope they’re willing to try that.

My hope is that we can get past the facade and get to the heart of the issue. That we can both see where we went wrong and make amends.

I? Am exhausted.

Weekend in short:

My long over-due housewarming party. Facials. Pasta dinner. Marathon. Softball. Family Dinner.

Weekend in depth:

While last weekend was DD’s big race, this weekend was the Detroit Marathon. For the second year, my nonprofit participated — this year as a featured charity. I coordinated all of our efforts, including wrangling 25+ runners who ran on our behalf, planning two cheer stations, and managing the expectations of my Miranda Priestly-like boss.

Ed. Note: I’m not joking. She really is a Miranda Priestly clone. She even calls HERSELF that.

All in all, our efforts went exactly as planned. And the boss hid her inner Miranda quite well. (I think she knew that I wasn’t in the mood to deal with it.)

The marathon however, didn’t go as well. Sure, it was a great event. But, here in the D we’re all a little quieter than we typically are after the annual race.

Yesterday, three runners collapsed and died during the event. All within about 16 minutes of one another. They were of all ages — from 26 to 65.

They say death comes in threes, but this? This is more than a little eerie. And sobering. As I stood up in this morning’s staff meeting to thank all of my coworkers who either helped me plan our participation or who ran in the race, I wasn’t quite sure how to address it all. There were so many good things that happened with both our team and the race as a whole, but they were overshadowed by these sudden deaths.

Yet this was just one part of the weekend. Immediately following the race, I had to head to my softball team’s last games of the season. After swinging the bat and running the bases more than I have all season, it was off to DD’s birthday dinner with his family.

Where I promptly fell asleep before playing a game of Catchphrase where my exhaustion was evident in my inability to find words to describe things like “gas”.

All in all, it has been a weekend. Which will most certainly be followed by a week. Tomorrow is DD’s birthday. Wednesday I’ve planned a little surprise gathering for him. And Thursday my aunt and cousin fly into town for a long weekend.

My hopes of a quiet fall are pretty much gone at this point.